Posted by: kmorrison33 | October 29, 2010

The Ongoing Drama of Righties and Lefties…

In the ongoing drama that is this years election, the discussion between left and right might go something like this…

The Right: “We’re mad as hell that the left has spent too much money… ….We’d be mad as hell anyway, but in this case we really are mad about the money.”

The Left: “You spent too much money first, and your anger is inappropriate - whining is the proper response to not getting what you want.”

The Right: ”Shut it, if anger mangement class has tought me anything it is that you whiners should stop provoking me. What was I talking about by anyway? The economy! The left has done nothing to fix the economy, and has just made it worse.”

The Left: ”Our spending is justified. The pile of money we spent kept the economic world from imploding. An implosion, by the way, caused by GWB and you righties. Some very smart people tell us that spending boatloads of money is a good thing.  I may not personally understand, but I have complete faith in and never question the really smart people that live in a bubble and tell us what to think.”

The Right:  ”If we righties didn’t have a pact to never to criticize one of our own, we’d admit that GWB spent too much money - but due to that pact, get over it.  He’s one of us, and that’s our main political criteria.  We emphatically support anyone who appears to be ‘one of us’, and when GWB choked on that potato chip we knew he belonged to our tribe.”

The Left: ”That’s probably why we hated him so much.  His spending isn’t really what bothered us, some of our best spenders are running as fiscal conservatives this year.”

The Right: “Where do you get off selling yourself as a fiscal conservative?”

The Left: “We did learn that from GWB”

The Right: “I’d complain bitterly if we weren’t cashing in on O’s ‘change’ slogan this time around…  By the way, where did all your ‘hope’ go?”

The Left: “For the record we have done remarkable things. We prevented a theoretical depression, and passed a massive overhaul of health care. Off the record, some of us are shocked O can’t divine water.  Also, we don’t completely love the health care bill; our anti-war candidate became a president that basically followed the JMC plan in Afghanistan and Iraq. Gays can only serve openly in the military if our beloved O doesn’t counter recent court rulings, and nothing has been done about immigration as promised.”

The Right:  “Well, we have a deal on immigration right?”

The Left:  “True.”

The Right:  “It’s worked for thirty plus years - and it may be the one thing we agree on. We both can scream bloody murder about it during election season, but then neither of us is to do anything about it afterwards.  That’s the deal.

Off the record, foreign policy may be the only thing we’re not ripping mad about.  Not that we have no anger - we always have some, but O’s taken our big issue away from us, and we’re completely impressed that he played the anti-war crowd like a fiddle.”

The Left:  “He has skills.  We’ll see on Tuesday if those skills can turn out a deflated base.”

The Right:  “‘We’re betting anger trumps charm - and if not, we’re going to pitch a royal fit.”

The Left:  “See you at the polls.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )


Connecting to %s



Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: